crush (-ed??) c",)

Gavin DeGraw
Crush

When my pass came in, you dropped the ball
It didn't change the way I feel
And I was wishing I'd break down your walls
The kiss will know if the lips stay still
There is a line I crossed
And when you missed I lost
I'm not a loser
Girl, you know that I'll be back again
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh, my crush, I've got a crush
I suppose that I could hold it in
But you excite my every cell
Sources say that sense are your friends
My senses say that I should tell
You that I"m not ashamed
You might just feel the same
But have to try it
If you're ever really going to know
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh, my crush, I've got a crush
I want to
I need to
I have to have you
You're so much to touch
Girl, you're too much
And I can't control it - You've got me all over the road
My dear, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh, my crush
Damaging my soul
You blew me off, but I don't mind
i just get better with time
And so do you
So do you
My crush..

at Burnham Park with Jurine.. dated 20.12.2005

...and this is the reason why we were 30 minutes late for diana's wedding...

we weren't really supposed to go to Burnham anymore 'coz Jurine didn't want to be late for the wedding... but Jure, being the considerate friend that she is, gave in to my non-stop pestering for Burnham Park to complete our Baguio documentation...
hehehe...

thanks, Jure!!!!!
=D

not exactly the final hurrah yet..

i'm at work right now... calling SAS (Scandinavian Airlines)... there's a schedule change on the return flights of my caller... but while on hold with the airline... let me fill you in on what's been happening... but lemme' explain myself first... i'm one of the first time bloggers here.. and i'm not really comfortable with making my thoughts public... that's why it took me eons before i finally gave my link to anybody.. so, help me out here, ok?

=)

today, i will be attending my class for the last time... (i refuse to mention this course--but most of you probably know this already.. haha).. anywayz... i will be attending that d*rn*d class for the last time... you can just imagine my anxiousness to finally graduate and rid myself of that school... i don't want to sound ungrateful... i am proud and happy to be an Iskolar ng Bayan... let me make that clear... thank you, working class, for religiously paying your taxes... which allowed me (together with many other iskolars) to complete a degree in this country's state university... i AM grateful... and i take pride in being one of the many graduates of a prestigious institution (as it has been occassionally referred to as).
but... (there's always a but...)
after seven long years... i've had enough... of schools, and notebooks and paperworks, and deadlines, and of frustrated teachers trying to inculcate in their students to accomplish the dream they failed in their yester years...
yes, indeed... i would want to proudly march the deteriorated stage of my school and end my stay there... but, (notice this is another but..) alas... i failed to file for graduation... =(
so much for pride then
=,(

barbie

something i made for diana's wedding.. dated 12.20.2005

FRAGMENTS

Fragments of thoughts
Shattered pieces
Yet in confusing unity
Is in essence something beautiful
You know not why
You know not how
But you believe
Someone is waiting
For me

Loneliness was just a phase
A state of mind
but it was there
I remained firm
I believed in something greater

To care so deep…
to feel so much …
to love…
a face unknown
once a mystery kept
in the boundaries of heaven

I need not listen to the music alone.

Loving
Loving that someone
But for reasons greater,
the Satellite refuses
the Satellite controls

the paths intercepted
only to fork once again
but with Divinity
in all it’s glory
the Face is revealed
I look up
The sun’s warmth
Showers on my face
And the cool night
No longer embraces my flesh


I look ahead
I see the horizon
I look beyond
In the Satellite
In Him
In love
In You
I believe

************************************
thanks, anna, for the perfect reaction!
miss you dearies!!!
=)
************************************

from a higher perspective

Let me see forever
With eyes You've opened
Standing in the beautiful light
Hold me near
Hold me near to You
And let me see the world through Your eyes

the la-ag..

i juz arrived home from my shift... i do not want to text him first to confirm about our so-called la-ag...i do not want him to think i'm too (too!) excited... gawd... i'm too tired to write anything now... will update you later...

i hope i can put this at the back of my mind... so i can have my beauty rest...
oh my...

nada gaga

hmmmm...
got canceled... this time it's definite... we're going out tomorrow....
hazel, do not freak out... do not freak out...
=D
juz some reassuring tantra for myself...

big smile

we're going out tomorrow!!
=D

happy new year!!!

what a way to start the year!
before midnight struck, i had a talk with this guy i've liked for so long... 8 freakin years... yep, yep... explain that to me... haven't seen him since we graduated highschool... you probably know who he is... hahaha... i ain't really that gaga over him anymore ... like i used to be during highschool days... (dili na ba? hehe)
gosh... i wuz so juvenile back then...

where wuz i?
oh, right... we talked over the phone... he is juz so nice to talk to... i find it charming the way he reassures me... it may have meant nothing to him when he said those stuffs... but it meant the entire universe to me... am i juz so pathetic??

he got my number by the way
**imagine the huge grin on my face!**

***************************************************

new year's eve...

my cuzins and i had a karaoke party last night... grabeh we suck in singing... hahahaha!!!
but it wuz juz soooooo fun!!!
but my sisters had a mini-conspiracy... hmmmm...
they took advantage of me... huhuhuhu... =P
(i've learned my lesson never to get drunk with family around... hmmp)
they took this really drunk pic of me before new year's eve... grabeh... teamwork jud sila... ate rochee and ate betsky tried to get my unconscious self to pose for the cam... and whoala... my ever angelic baby sister (notice the sarcasm here...) took the infamous picture with ate's new digicam... =P i doubt i will ever post it here... or any online site for that matter... i wuz super dead to the world... coz the last thing that i could remember wuz that i wuz singing and laughing... and juz having fun...
whoooppsss... you get the picture
=)

wh@+ d f^(!< !!!!

This Is How A Heart Breaks
Rob Thomas

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Just keep your hands inside
And make the most out of life
Now don't you take it for granted

Life is like a mean machine
It made a mess outta me
It left me caught between
Like an angry dream I was stranded

And I'm steady but I'm starting to shake
And I don't know how much more I can take

This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks

Don't you wanna go for a ride
Down to the other side
Feels so good you could cry
Now won't you do what I told you
I remember when you used to be shy
Yeah, once we were so fine
You and I why you gotta make it so hard on me

And I'm sorry but it's not a mistake
And I'm running but you're getting away

You're not the best thing that I knew
Never was never cared too much
For all this hanging around
It's just the same thing all the time
Never get what I want
Never get too close to the end of the line
You're just the same thing that I knew back before the time
When I was only for you

beauty queens

DATE: 18 DEC 2005

TIME:0600 PM

VENUE: BAGUIO COUNTRY CLUB

ORGANIZERS: ME! =), JURINE, & ANNA! plus absentee JACKIE =P

it was a fun, sentimental moment for the gurlfriends there... there was karaoke singing and games.. we even had a miss congeniality poll! with sunshine being the winner.. the food was great.. music was superb.. the guests were easy to be with.. the toasts! and the testimonials! hahaha.. we sure did surprise Diana.. fun, fun, fun.. Diana crying.. me crying.. pictures.. lotsa' lotsa' pictures.. this is, afterall, in celebration of her last days as a single and sexy woman! sexy lang gihapun after--- but dili na single ba!! hahaha... =)

we actually had a program outlined.. we tried to follow through it as much as we could.. i have to admit there were some minor glitches to it.. but it turned out to be more amazing than we thought it would be.. =)

congratulations yacky dearie!!may your hubby jeric bring you inspiration in life!!and more hugs and kisses and blessings to come for the both of you!!we love you both!!!God bless us all!a toast to us gurlfriends!!(anna, jurine, jackie, and laarni!)mwahhugs you all..till the next wedding?hahahaha..=)

ETD 1915HRS

after several days/weeks of meetings and preparations.. the day has finally come for us to go to Baguio and materialize our plan for Princess D’s shower.. we were so freaked out and excited.. she is the first closest friend we have that is going to get married!!!

jurine and i left for manila at around 715pm. but we were already at the airport at around 6pm. it was real hilarious for us.. we were soooo clumsy and stupid.. i'm a travel agent and all.. but i'm really a novice when it comes to flying.. and so is jurine!! this is probably just the 3rd flight we ever had in our entire 23 years of living! hahaha.. imagine our stupidity--we have a cebu pacific flight.. but we were at the waiting lounge for PAL.. would’ve been so embarrassing if we missed our flight coz we were waiting at the wrong gate!!!! Good thing it wuz juz a small airport.. and then one of us (me? or wuz it jure?) decided to look around.. coz.. well.. something juz doesn’t seem right.. it wuz already 10mins prior our scheduled departure.. and nobody seems to be moving.. nor does anybody else look worried.. thus, you can figure out the story out from there.. we eventually got to the right gate

but prior boarding.. we explored the small domestic terminal we have.. made some adjustments on some minor details for the party at Bo’s.. good thing jure brought her apple laptop with her.. would you believe that she won it in a raffle?? she did. lucky gurl. haha.. i don’t think i’ll ever be that lucky.. wuz never lucky in life.. nor in love—much less in a raffle draw (?!?) lolz.

we got to Manila in perfect condition. jackie and her hubby, justin, fetched us at the airport.. we had dimsum for dinner.. i forgot the name of the resto though.. we caught up and stuff.. gawd. i miss the gurl. we had fun catching up. although there were some minor worries at the back of my mind (not worth mentioning here..) but generally it wuz fun being with the gurls again.

we took care of the last minute details for diana's shower party the night after.. jurine mostly did the techie parts.. anna caught up with us (in that dimsum resto). then at around 12mn, justin dropped us off at anna’s place after we bought our bus tickets to Baguio.. we were scheduled now to take the bus at 3am..

my life in my own words

this will be my life in my own words... the eugology of the uncaring? i got rid of that... dili ko kibaw mu-edit ato... hahaha...

but this is my life... and i want to enjoy every moment of it.

i want to.

first impressions

this was a busy day for me. it's a sunday and i just got off my shift. and as all other call center agents, i work at night. i'm all up and active when it's dark... and snoring when the sun is up. i live a krazy life. sometimes, i love it. sometimes, i wish myself dead.
krazy.

anyhow, i just got off my shift and i am on a restday tonight. this is sort of my interim restday since i will be taking a totally new schedule next week for training (for another VDN). i got home. and tried to get some sleep... but only in vain.

2:00 PM. my phone beeps. it is my ever dear teammate, friend, and co-vamp... Maris... she wants to meet up in SM because she just came from the airport. she just sent her hubby off for training to Manila. and since all my effort for sleep turned out to be futile, i decided to give it a go. we went to bo's coffee club and just sat there and talked about work, life, and stuffs. (we didn't even order coffee!) then we talked ourselves into going to the parlor after... but in a different mall... and so we did. we had our hair treated with hot oil... and the part where they massage our scalp? heaven... hahaha... we went around the mall for several minutes. when we finally decided we're done bumming around... we went to ayala and bum some more. we talked over coffee... (yep, we bought coffee this time) a nice cold frap for me.

it was past 9:00 PM already and my cousin, ate libeth, invited me to stay at their place for the night. actually, she's been inviting me since the 2nd week of the month. she wanted to introduce me to this half Filipino half American guy... i was interested... but not really. that's why it took me two weeks before i finally took on her offer to drop by their place.

guadalupe... finally, i got to their place... saw the guy... darnell... i thought he was pretty cute... but he came off as arrogant to me at first... he hardly smiled... and he barely even looked in my direction... we were never introduced formally... i was pretending to play with my anty's kid (ate libeth is staying at my anty's place)... and from the corner of my eye... i could see him talking with his mum...

ok... to give you an idea on how all these is set up...they (darnell and his mum) have been here for a couple of weeks already and this will be their last week here... they're staying at ate cleoh's place... they're friends and neighbors back in the states, you see... and they will be leaving by the end of this week...

where was i? oh...i was playing with my anty's kid... somebody chirped something about going out for the night.
so, we went out. we went to Yo'Latino in the Village. the singers were nice. and everyone was drinking blue margarita (on the rocks) and talking and laughing and eating and just having fun... except for darnell. i could see him drumming his fingers on the table and moving his head with the music (the way you slightly bang your head with the music to pretend that you're having fun when you're not? yep... that one) my ever match-maker of an aunt probably noticed this and took pity on the hottie... she asked me to start a conversation with him... and being the obedient niece that i am (and unregretfully)--- i did. and contrary to the arrogant bully i first thought he was... he is such a sweetie... and our conversation just went on... and on... and on... amazing. we were like ice on lemonade... icing on the cake... cream on the coffee... hahaha... pardon the associations. but we were that. everything was just perfect. and the mood was turned from fun into something... well-- better.

we were laughing and joking like we've known each other forever! he was playfully teasing me and i couldn't help but blush... and laugh at the same time. how i did that? i have no idea! all i know is that the evening was fun and i was having a great time. i even dared him to eat "balut"... and without batting an eyelash--- he willingly took on the challenge.

we went home at around before midnight with smiles on our faces.

i was dead tired by the end of this day. i immediately made my way to ate libeth's room. but i remembered i owed a friend a phone call. i went out of the house. and stepped out just by the door to call my friend, anna. and i was already in the middle of dialling her number when... the cutie went out... i have to say it was a nice surprise... hahaha... he offered me a glass of water which i graciously turned down. he started the conversation. i think he was asking if i was still a student or not... or whether i've graduated already... i've totally forgotten! all i could remember were the cute pair of eyes staring back at me... and his smile... beautiful...

we talked about anything! he guided me towards the garage... and we just went on talking about... well... stuffs... there was never an awkward silence. he is so easy to be with. we got to know each other... well, it was more like him trying to get to know me... hahahaha... but i did get to see a glimpse of him in the process... and... haaaaay. not only is he a cutie, he is such a nice guy as well.

and then we heard it...
ate cleoh, ate libeth, and his mom were looking for us... hahaha... we were just at the back of the house! we pretended to ignore them at first. and tried to delay the night...
but alas...
as much as we don't want to... we finally gave in... and welcomed the world of dreams...

of course... with even bigger smiles on our faces.